Better than a Hallelujah

This is my new favorite song. And it comes at a time when I really need to hear it. The phrases that really touch my heart are "God just hears a melody" and especially "Beautiful, the mess we are". How amazing is our God, that He would meet us where we are!

God loves a lullaby
In a mother's tears, in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
God loves the drunkard's cry,
The soldier's plea not to let him die
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.


We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful, the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah.


The woman holding on for life,
The dying man giving up the fight 
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes
The tears of shame for what's been done,
The silence when the words won't come
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.


We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are 
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

Better than a church bell ringing,
Better than a choir singing out, singing out.


We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are 
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are 
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah


Better than a Hallelujah sometimes


-Amy Grant

Post-Exam Resolutions

I don't typically make New Year's Resolutions. I do evaluate how the prior year went and contemplate the things I'd like to work on for the next year, but I'm not one to really make a list just because I'm writing 2010 instead of 2009. Occasionally - okay, frequently - things in my life will get really chaotic and I'll find myself unable to make time to do some of the things I really enjoy. I usually make a mental list of these things so that I can make a point to do them at the next available opportunity. That's about as close to a "resolution" as I make.

I have been studying for an actuarial exam, which I take in 10 days, since mid-January (so, almost 4 months) and as I approach the exam, devoting more and more of my "free" time studying, I find myself unable to keep up with my mental list of things I'd like to do. It's just getting too long. It seems like every day I think of one or two things that I'd like to get to "once my exam is over". I can't even count how many times I have said that phrase ("once my exam is over") over the last few weeks.

It has come time to transfer my mental list from the "wishing and hoping" lobe of my brain to paper (or at least cyberspace). Here are the things I want to do "once my exam is over" (in no particular order):

1. BLOG! I have been neglecting this and I know that my 2 readers are disappointed. There may not even be any readers left! I'd like that to change! I want to post at least weekly, if not more often (striving for daily is still a little too difficult an endeavor for me).
2. Keep the apartment clean. Brad has been doing such an amazing job at picking up my slack, but he can't do it all by himself! I want to stay on top of this, rather than feel like I'm always having to "catch up".
3. Spring Cleaning! I read this blog post (Blessing of Stewardship) and it really made me think about what I am holding onto (physically and otherwise) and why. I want to spend some time evaluating what things it's time that I let go of and pass on to someone else.
4. Invite people over. I can't remember the last time we had people over to our apartment... New Year's Eve, maybe? It's been just way too long! After I get my act together with #2. and #3., we are having a party! I'm thinking homemade ice cream... :)
5. Spend time with friends. My poor friends! I have told so many of them, "We'll hang out after May 13th!" I can't wait to spend guilt-free time with them over the phone, shopping, coffee, Gilmore Girls, Chick-fil-a, bike-rides, etc.
6. Make an "I'm done with my exam" CD to rock out to on my commute - or as I'm cleaning the apartment!
7. WORK OUT! I am going to come up with a plan and stick to it! Brad and I are going to try to exercise together as much as possible. Hopefully I'll post some of my ideas in a future blog post!
8. Play with my Cricut. I have been neglecting this toy for too long. It misses me and I can hear it beckon every time I walk into our study. I just bought a new cartridge that I haven't even broken in!
9. Scrapbook. I want to use the new cartridge from #9 to help me finish scrapbooking my wedding from almost 2 years ago! I also want to work on my card-making skills :)
10. Research small business ideas to look into doing on the side. I don't really have the time to start something like this right now, but it's been on my heart a lot lately and it's never too early to start brainstorming and researching!
11. Read! I love to read, and I'm in the middle of too many books. That's not the way I like to read! I like one book at a time - finish and move on! I need to finish Eclipse before the all-too-cheesy movie comes out :)
12. Make a MediaShout training guide for church. This has been on my to-do list for about a year. It needs to get done!
13. Go for walks... OUTSIDE! It's going to get hot... fast! I want to be able to enjoy God's beautiful creation, preferably before the Texas heatwave comes on full force (today's high is 90 and it's just the beginning of May!) **sidenote complaint: Exam season always encompasses the prettiest times of the year. I study from February to May and August to November. That leaves yucky cold winter and sticky hot summer. Granted, we don't really get a true spring or autumn in Texas, but I wish I could at least enjoy our wannabes!
14. Read my Real Simple magazines that have sadly piled up over the last couple of months
15. Lay out by the pool. We have a pool in our apartment complex, yet we don't take advantage. It's fun to watch the families and kids play. And I could even catch up on #14 while I soak up some rays (after applying ample amounts of sunscreen to my fair skin!)
16. Watch Brad play softball for the Terranova Supernovas! Anyone want to cheer-lead with me?
17. Play with my camera. I need to strengthen my photography skills, and what better time than wildflower season in Texas (okay, the END of wildflower season... see sidenote complaint from #13)
18. Plan a surprise date night for Brad. He deserves a fun night out. I have not been the wife I know I can be lately. He deserves way more love than I show him! He's been a wonderful support through all of my crazy studying!
19. Design a Terranova t-shirt. I have been wanting to do this for awhile! I have a couple of really fun ideas!
20. Go shopping! And NOT as a study break... just for fun!
21. Be a more diligent employee. Yes, I have been concentrating hard on studying, which ends up benefiting the company in the long run, but as my mind has been preoccupied with Benefit reserves, annuities, premiums, and such, I have not exactly been as productive at work as I should be.
22. Car shop! That's right, we are getting a new (to us) car. And the car shopping process should be fun, but so far it has been stressful because I really just don't have enough time to devote to researching, test-driving, etc. After May 13th, bring on the contenders!
23. Play the Wii. I'm a little frightened about what the Wii Fit balance board is going to say to me when I get on it for the first time after six months! It used to hassle me after 2 days!
24. Ride my bike!
25. Cook! I have the most amazing husband that cooks dinner for me most nights! But I haven't cooked enough to know a) whether I actually enjoy it or b) whether I'm any good at it. And plus, I'd like to give Brad a break every once and a while!
26. Go to a coffee shop and actually ENJOY my cup of coffee - instead of using it as power juice to get me through a study session!
27. Get a massage for ME and not for my headaches. Believe me, there's a difference!
28. Bring snack to Bible study. I have taken a hiatus from signing up to bring snack to our weekly Bible study (one of the things I'm proud of myself for saying no to!) but I miss baking, especially baking FOR other people!
29. Organize all my bills. Thanks to our amazing teamwork, Brad and I keep up with finances extremely well. But what happens with the paper statments (which we are trying to transition out of) is another story! There is a HUGE pile of unfiled bills and statements. I can't wait to organize them all - perhaps while watching some Gilmore Girls :)
30. Spend time with God. This is the most important item on this list. God and I have some things to work on and I have been neglecting Him most of all through this study process. I am working on spending more time with him now, but I'm excited about how things can change when I have unrushed time to spend one-on-one with Him.

May 13th at around noon begins my "new year" - and I'm excited about these Post-Exam Resolutions. Happy New Year to me!

Arise

JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD.

Ahh, what a beautiful picture of love. But as I was reminded today through Kyle's sermon, the real question is...

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

If we have put our faith in Jesus Christ as our Lord, a drastic change has occurred in our life because of that first statement. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

Galatians 5:13-25

The daily difference of His death is FREEDOM.

The daily difference of His life is FRUITFULNESS.

Happy Easter.

Love Never Fails

I have been meaning to post these lyrics since I first heard them on the radio. What a beautiful song! I wish I had heard it before I got married - it would be perfect for a wedding! The lyrics are below... take a couple of minutes to listen to it :)

Love is not proud
Love does not boast
Love after all
Matters the most

Love does not run
Love does not hide
Love does not keep
Locked inside

Love is the river that flows through
Love never fails you

Love will sustain
Love will provide
Love will not cease
At the end of time

Love will protect
Love always hopes
Love still believes
When you don't

Love is the arms that are holding you
Love never fails you

When my heart won't make a sound
When I can't turn back around
When the sky is falling down
Nothing is greater than this
Greater than this

Love is right here
Love is alive
Love is the way
The truth the life

Love is the river than flows through
Love is the arms that are holding you
Love is the place you will fly to
Love never fails you

-Love Never Fails by Brandon Heath

Operation Cruise... OUT OF Control!

Okay, so as I'm sure you've guessed from my lack of posts, Operation Cruise Control didn't turn out to be as much of a success as I had hoped. While I wanted to lose about 20 pounds, I only lost 5. While I wanted it to last 12 weeks, I only stuck to it for about 5. There are plenty of excuses that I can come up with, but I won't. I just completely lost motivation. On the positive side, I DID lose 5 pounds. And I'm constantly learning what does and doesn't work for me as far as a "plan" goes. So I wouldn't call OCC a failure.

While I am now really hesitant to make any sort of strict goal or plan, I do have some motivational reasons for getting back in shape and losing weight. (1) I went on a wonderful cruise last week, where they fed me in 30 minute increments. And despite only taking the elevator once or twice (I walked a LOT of stairs) I still managed to gain those 5 pounds back. (2) I will be in a couple weddings coming up - Katrina's in March and Kim's in June. Now, I'm getting my dress for Katrina's wedding altered next week, so there's not a ton of hope for that one, but I have a while before my dress for Kim's wedding comes in. I'd like to make my seamstress work, if you know what I mean. (3) I am beginning a new routine. Starting tomorrow I am studying for my next exam (it will be in May). This normally would be the perfect opportunity to use studying as an excuse for not getting in shape, but I think that this could actually be a positive experience if I schedule working out into my new routine. I am already not going to have a life. I might as well get in shape while I'm at it. And perhaps the exercise will keep my stress under control, thus preventing my headaches from reappearing.

So. I need some accountability and encouragement throughout this. Especially since I don't have a set plan. Perhaps I will come up with one as things progress, but right now a plan scares me and I'm afraid it will do more harm than good. So for now, I just want to get back to exercising regularly. Please post comments, send me emails, or call me to keep me accountable. I really need to get in shape this time. For real. :)