Monday Morning Intentions

Sometime I'd like to write a post about my sleep dilemma. I should do that soon.

But tonight I'm posting about how I WILL get up and work out tomorrow morning. I figure, if I'm putting it out there on my blog, I have to do it, right? I'm hoping that will keep me accountable, at least for tomorrow.

I always have so much motivation when I'm going to bed and setting my alarm. Especially on a Sunday night. The stress from the week hasn't started to consume me yet. I'm fresh off of a relaxing, productive weekend and I have such high expectations and hope for the morning. But usually my sleepiness takes over when my alarm goes off and I snooze through a workout. Sometimes it's not even a conscious rebellion. Occasionally it is. I make excuses in my half-consciousness that I get upset about later in the day.

I have taken a week off from working out as I recovered from a bad infection last weekend. It's been long enough. I start back tomorrow. Keep me to it, ok? But with love, of course. No condemnation, just accountability and encouragement. I'm hard enough on myself :)

My Intentions

I am not usually a blogger. In fact, I hardly ever express my written thoughts for the public to read without first measuring what I'm saying and how people will react. Because of this, there are times when I don't say what I really want to say, but rather what people expect me to say. I don't always do this on purpose. Sometimes I'm scared, sometimes I'm confused, and most times I genuinely feel like I cannot express myself adequately with words.

For various reasons, I feel that it's time to let go of my insecurity with words and let them loose. I am not writing this for other people. I am not writing this to be heard, to get a point across, or to make people like me. I am mostly writing this for me. This is a way for me to record my thoughts, sort through them, and hopefully improve my written expression. Feel free to read all of my posts, one every once in a while, or none at all.

If you do indeed follow this blog, the most important thing I would like you to know is that I am going to be 100% honest. I am going to write my mind... anything that comes to it... from what's going on in my life to how I'm feeling today to the mysteries of God to lyrics I relate to. Most of my entries will be highly analytical, probably confusing, possibly contradicting, but absolutely real.

With honesty comes vulnerability. This is going to be a challenge for me. I am usually a people pleaser. I don't like confrontation, I avoid conflict, and I am uncomfortable with absolutes. You will find that I like to argue both sides of things... and I usually don't end up taking a side.

Feel free to participate... to respond, to comment, to ask questions, to get mad, to agree, to be confused. I care about what people --especially those I care about-- think. I want to know what you think. I'm not seeking approval, agreement, or even understanding. I just want to know your reactions--if you have them and care to share them.

Here I [we, if you are joining me] go.