I. feel. stuck.-stuck in this apartment. Even on the weekends when I am "free" to do whatever I want, I feel trapped in the walls of our apartment. And I have a feeling I wouldn't feel any less trapped in something bigger. It's not the size. It's the stuff. It's the familiarity. It's the isolation from the world.
-stuck at my job. It's not exciting most days. I really love what I do, but most days I'm not happy. It's my attitude. It's the environment telling me the way I need to act and feel and be.
-stuck in my neverending to-do lists. There is always a list - or two or three - going of the things I need to do. Or that I want to do. They are always going in my head. Sometimes I can write them down and cross things off of them, but most of the time they just get longer and longer, hanging over my head and trapping me in stress.
-stuck in my own expectations. The need to be great. To do great. To be my best. I have this idea of how my life should be and the goals and dreams that I have for myself. And they just mock me everytime I don't live up to them or take a step toward them.
-stuck in others expectations. Of how I should look. Of how I should dress. Of how much I should exercise. Of how I should spend my time. Of how I should spend my money. Of how much money I should make. Of what my home should look like. Of what kind of car I should drive. Of what I should like. Of what I should sound like. AHHHH!
I am a slave to others. To my unnecessary expectations. To my "should be"s. I am trapped, caught, suffocating, imprisoned, stuck. SLAVE.
As Beth Moore puts it, "We become immediate slaves to the person(s) from whom we seek approval."
BUT, Christ came to set me free from slavery. "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourself be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." -Galatians 5:1
I cannot continue to try to balance the Spirit and the flesh. They cannot work together. "For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law." -Galatians 5:17-18 God has freed me from the law. From the world. From the expectations of myself and of others.
He has SET ME FREE.
To experience this sweet freedom that God is trying to show me, I must keep in step with the Spirit. I must not be conformed to the pattern of this world. I must yield to the Holy Spirit, allowing Him to guide me through my routine, my job, my life. Every day I must make that choice. It does not come naturally. But it is so much better!
Here's to freedom.
Listen to this song: Better Way to Live - by Jason Gray
